____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Content here represents the voice of SIGNATURE SUNSETS, an informational initiative designed to broaden and brighten horizons in the funerary domain.

The material is an outgrowth of a pre-planning reference book, Pondering Leaves: Composing and Conveying Your Life Story's Epilogue, written by the author of this blog.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Showing posts with label NEW TRENDS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NEW TRENDS. Show all posts

Saturday, November 5, 2016

"EXITER UNIVERSITY" End-of-Life Planning

ANNOUNCING:  "EXITER UNIVERSITY"

Prepare To Learn… Learn To Prepare

Are you one of those?… those people resolutely in denial about the inevitability of eventual death… who harness their energies to avoid perceived threatening thoughts about it… whose timid eyes turn in a different direction when a hearse passes by?  

Well, if this attitude rings a bell, you are not alone!  American society is crippled by a 
death-phobic contagion.  From one generation to the next, infected psyches have been conditioned to ignore and sometimes abhor the reality of physical passage from the earth. 

Even generally open-minded individuals often have closed their minds to the pleasant event planning opportunities the prospect of life’s final milestone presents.   

Long before resting in peace, a wise planner can attain the peace of preparation, contentedly aware that a record of one’s final wishes will likely become a most treasured gift for loved ones

Courageous pioneers who have waded tentatively into this domain have been surprised to discover enjoyment of planning processes.  The funeral industry has changed dramatically, nowadays rendering new approaches coupled with innovative products.  Whether browsing or buying, a customer under relaxed circumstances is apt to feel invigorated by the enlivening offerings. 

*****
                                                           

"Exiter University" is dedicated to informing folks about the vast array of possibilities from which they can choose elements for management of their final proceedings.  A broad and colorful spectrum of classes, workshops, discussion groups, and online substance is designed to enlighten and entertain participants.

Experience this educational opportunity to learn about matters rarely discussed in everyday life.  Expect to become intrigued, engaged, and enlightened by awareness of modern-day funerary revitalization.  Materials are designed to be fun and entertaining.

You won’t encounter anything morbid within this context… no bone-chilling skulls and crossbones or Grim Reaper facsimiles.  Instead, you may catch a glimpse of warm and fuzzy associates in the likeness of frogs to remind us that conspicuous croaking… making one’s voice heard (by declaring preferences for death management) is a wise course of action before finally “croaking.”

Whether your goal for gaining insights is based on planning for your own end of life or that of family members, you are apt to be captivated by the innovations and variations that have emerged within recent years.  Merchandise, services, commemorations, and memorialization have been imbued with multi-faceted diversity.  Colorful novelty has awakened a domain that had seemed dismal and deadly.  

Cultural attitudes toward death are changing, prompting a growing willingness to bring this previously unmentionable aspect of life out of the closet.  People are realizing the importance of making arrangements or at least stating preferences ahead of time.  An intent to spare grieving family members from the onerous task of decision making underlies motivation; it is a step toward facilitating their emotional health when confronted by challenges of bereavement.  The mortality rate of one hundred percent renders a mission of advance preparation all the more relevant, regardless of one’s age.  Even young people can enjoy the event planning process, while maintaining receptivity to alterations through the years. 

Community presentations of this nature are supplemented with online materials to encourage absorption of information coupled with personal engagement.  Become acquainted with Signature Sunsets, via Twitter or LinkedIn connections.  Join its “Exiter University” Facebook group where information is shared, participation is welcomed, and learning is paramount (https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1824389547837277.1073741830.1392754611000775&type=1&l=8ce9597e42).


Saturday, April 16, 2016

CEMETERY CAFES

Journey Journal... Berlin, Germany

BEAN STEAM UNDERTAKING
Photo Source: publicdomainpictures.net

Imagine having arrived at a cemetery to begin exploring the territory when a sign planted along its pastoral trail distracts you from your intended course.  Suddenly, your salivary glands shift into overdrive upon reading that there’s a popular name-brand source of coffee available for purchase in the funeral home back at the entrance to the property.  

Any discerning proprietor of such an establishment must realize the symbolism associated with this accustomed stimulant of human propulsion.  Coffee screams hospitality!  Pots of scintillating java have been reposing ubiquitously in funeral homes for many years, readily available to boost the spirits and strength of heavyhearted clients.

In one instance, at least, the lure of this familiar drink awakened a marketing strategy to whet the appetites of community members, arousing them to be introduced to a funeral home that otherwise could have remained foreign to their consciousness.  A few years ago a drip of hot news appeared on the My Wonderful Life website. The Bowman Funeral Home in Chatham, England had brewed up a secondary, full-bodied attraction at its drive-thru window, which seemed to be percolating quite robustly.  In hopes that people would come to a grinding halt and take advantage of their cordiality, they provided free coffee for two hours early on a Wednesday morning every week.  The idea was intended to jolt awareness and stimulate familiarity with their business so that community members would be left with a strong aftertaste of rich flavors that would linger with them until “time of need.”  More recently, under new ownership as the Dennings of Chatham Funeral Home, tidings of goodwill have been conveyed by offering free coffee for a month to draw attention to a local hospice.  

Though coffee is simmering in funeral establishments around the world, nowadays in Western society, at least, a simple cup of store-bought joe doesn’t necessarily measure up to standards that sophisticated palates have come to expect.  It’s not just a cup of coffee… it’s an experience. People crave the paper cupfuls of diversified liquid refreshment poured under the watchful eyes of the double-tailed mermaid bearing a star-topped crown… or the likes of one of her brand-name-logo cohorts.  Perhaps in an environment of companion loss, availability of a customary drink may be a comforting way of connecting a grieving individual to something familiar.

In 2012 a construction project at the Robinson Funeral Home in Easley, South Carolina marked the advent of a Starbucks “Coffee Corner” attached to the main building for guest use, but also open for public access via a separate entrance by the parking lot. 

Photo Source:  WYFF News 4

New employees on the Robinson staff were trained by Starbucks for their barista roles. The coffee chain’s official menu dictates a selection of beverage and food items. Their contract with the funeral home is one of many food service accounts the company has with wide-ranging institutions and businesses, such as hospitals, auto dealerships, health clubs, etc.

Photo Source:  easleycoffee.com  

Preceding Robinson’s project by about a year, a similar enterprise owned and operated by a funeral home, but licensed by Starbucks to sell its products and use its equipment, was launched in Texas. The Turrentine Jackson Morrow Funeral Home in McKinney may have the distinction of being the first in the nation to institute this type of undertaking.  Here, the speciality hub is adjacent to a floral and gift shop, within sight of stone monuments for sale and down the hall from a room housing an assortment of caskets.  

Photo Source:  Louis DeLuca, The Dallas Morning News

The need for new revenue streams in funerary establishments could possibly have inspired this trademark retail initiative that prompted widespread publicity. Though primarily serving beleaguered client families, these sites also have been open to the public as a convivial meeting place and a convenient spot to pop in for a diversional break and a stiff sip.  Maybe they help dilute the usual intimidation that typically weakens people’s resolve when confronted by the prospect of stepping into a funeral home.  

Perhaps American cemeteries will take a cue from certain European counterparts where their burial grounds are complemented by cafes, possibly suggestive of a finishing touch.    

Berlin's inaugural one, the Finovo Cafe that was established in 2006 by Bernd Bossman, is immediately beyond the entrance gates of the St Matthaus Cemetery in the district of Schoneberg.


Passage toward the decorative entrance of the cottage confers colorful stimulation.


The building’s homey interior exudes eclectic charm, featuring a mishmash of tables and chairs in varied styles.  



Window sills, hallways, and other spots are festooned with knickknacks and wall hangings of different sorts that bespeak an Old World aura effectuated by donations of personal possessions.  

Photo Source: Spiegel Online International 

Cups and saucers with a history from lifelong collections are likely to be used instead of garden variety versions (or paper cups more commonly employed in the United States). 

Surfaces are covered randomly by books and brochures, including an announcement of a forthcoming Death Cafe to be held there.  


Except for a refrigerated unit showcasing desserts, a visitor could easily need a moment to convince oneself that this is a retail shop rather than a private home. 


A small room across from the cafe serves as quarters for a rudimentary flower shop.


The flower shop’s inventory extends outdoors, cozily defining parameters for a terraced enclave with tables and chairs.


  
Following a pause for restorative sustenance and revitalization in the cafe, a wide pathway affords easy access for a jaunt through the cemetery.  


The experience of wandering through burial grounds can be enhanced, likewise, by stopping in at another cemetery hotspot in Berlin – in the Kreuzberg district.  This one, the Cafe Strauss, which opened in 2013, is a Viennese Kaffeehaus situated just past an entrance to the Friedrichswerderscher Kirchhof on Bergmannstrasse (the Friedrichwerderscher Friedhof cemetery).  The cafe represents a metamorphosis of a bygone funeral home.  Its  name derivation relates to the Viennese waltz composers, the German word for ostrich, and the name of the owners.  


Immediately beyond the gate upon stepping foot on cemetery property, a sheltered patio with tables and chairs beckons.  Here, one can drink in the sunshine of life while overlooking vestiges of the dead for whom the bells have tolled since the 19th and 20th centuries. 



Inside, the atmosphere oozes rejuvenation.  With its sizable arched windows inviting daylight and tall ceilings affording plenty of air to breathe in this storied former den of the dead, the ambience summons an urge to relax amid the neatly arranged tables punctuated by vases sprouting bright floral blossoms.


History compounds the intrigue of this endeavor, conceived by a husband and wife team and operating in a section of this 19th-century funeral home where bodies were stationed prior to burial.  During that era and based on a rampant myth, a waiting period of three days was required to assure that no one would be buried alive.  Bells were attached to the bodies, which were supervised by a watchman who, while listening for the sound of ringing, sat in the space that has been repurposed as the cafe’s toilet room.

Nowadays, within this restored (thankfully) room the aroma of freshly brewed coffee blends with the sounds of spirited conversations among a mixture of patrons who are there for different reasons.  For some, a quest to discover graves of the Brothers Grimm along with other notables buried here may include a coffee break.  Other folks seek refuge in the cafe, nestling in a quiet harbor of rest.  “ ‘We are here in the cemetery,’ cries a guest in his phone. Before him is a plate of sandwiches and an organic beer.  Although it's early evening and a little cold, several guests are sitting on the wooden café terrace under the brick pillars of the former mortuary.  Two people have unpacked their tablet computers and work. ‘We enjoy the peace,’ said one visitor.”  

Mourners seek the solace of familiarity within the walls of this orderly shop so characteristic of German culture.  Casual locals appreciate availability that’s off the beaten track. Tourists are curious. The cemetery’s custodial workers probably can’t resist an urge to partake of the beverages, sandwiches, and cakes that are out of this world, yet so close at hand to their job site.  


Assorted teas and coffee varieties are specialties of the house.  


Purportedly, a guardian fox sometimes makes an appearance when in need of a change of scenery; typically, he observes funeral activities while perched on mausoleum roofs, but at other times he tends graves by terrorizing rabbits that would devour flowers on grave sites if he weren’t there to protect them.  

In a space that's visible from both the adjacent cafe and outdoors, an artistic creation serves as a backdrop for the appreciation of living bodies proceeding past it.  




A purposeful funeral director briskly emerges along a pathway after inspecting a grave site prepared for imminent interment.  Awaiting guests gather together en masse, some bearing bunches of flowers to deposit over the grave.  Soon the bells will ring, not inside the vestigial funeral home arena that is so alive with customers these days, but from the serene burial terrain rendering an aura of sorrowful quiescence. 


European cafe fare may be a far cry from the commercial precision of Starbucks-prepared concoctions, yet an aura of hospitality in an intimate setting affords a welcoming retreat.  Prospective plans were germinating for additional shops at two other cemetery sites in Berlin, as well as Munich.  Beyond their intrinsic reason for being, integrated activities render such havens all the more attractive. For instance, the Cafe Fritz in Hamburg and the Atrium Cafe in Bristol, England host musical performances and art exhibitions.  

Will cemetery cafe or coffee shop ventures become a trend?  It may not happen overnight, but as death is resolutely dragged out of the closet and increasingly tolerated as a fact of life, incubating entrepreneurs may think “outside the box” and recognize an opportunity to “roast in peace.”

Those who have already laid the groundwork for coffee shops in funeral milieus generated interest and publicity.  The concept was even reason enough to set creative minds in gear.  In 2012 when news of the forthcoming Robinson venture was stirred up by media, The Week introduced a contest via an online article, soliciting submissions of ideas for the cafe's name.  Entries included:  “Time to Meet Your Mocha” (Rabkin), “Latte for Your Own Funeral” (Wolf), “You Can Take It With You” (Frisch), “The Grim Roaster” (Fichtl), “De-Coffinated!” (O’Reilly), “Rigor Mochas” (Quilici), “The Last Cup” (Brandt), “Coffee to Go” (Horowitz), “Mourning Java” (Phillips), “Perkatory” (Lees), “Bean Nice Knowing You” (Weiner), and “A Better Place” (Blasko).

At least the unconventional marketing and service strategies such as these enterprises in the funeral industry bring the ordinarily freeze-dried topic of death to the surface, possibly filtering out unsavory perceptions.  Every little drip of inspiration that connects familiar and acceptable experiences with typically hard-to-swallow elements of mortality may help percolate positive altitudes and possibly even a strong aftertaste of pleasure. 

So what will it be?  Espresso, a latte, cappuccino, or mochaccino?   Sometime if you find yourself dying for a cup of coffee, you know where to go.  Enjoy it… to the last drop! 


Saturday, January 16, 2016

WHERE TO DIE?

END ZONE GAME CHANGERS


Is quality of life possible during the physical decline of a terminal condition?  That’s a question that has surfaced recently, possibly driven in large part by the baby boomer generation of alternative thinkers.  The answer seems to be trending toward an affirmative stance.  Yes, even people who are dying can infuse their lives with meaningful moments… possibly more so if they are detached from institutions where they could easily become tube-entangled in the mechanical ministrations that represent the bastion of the medical model.  

Though multiple surveys have indicated that a large proportion of people choose not to die in a hospital, among the majority of the population that is actually the place where lives end. Recognizing this reality, the literature these days is rife with rationales for eschewing a hospital environment during one’s final weeks or days.  Activists are reacting negatively to the scenarios that are borne of scientific advancements, yet are potentially aversive to patients and their families.  

Perhaps of particular note is that medical doctors don’t want to die in hospitals, either.  Though they are fully aware of all the mechanical and pharmacological means of bodily support, many say “no thank you” to the prospect for themselves.  One of them, Atul Gawande, has become a maverick of sorts in spreading the word about the contrasts between hearth or hospice and conventional hospital care.

In an article for the New Yorker Magazine, he referenced a study done as part of a Coping With Cancer Project.  “… terminally ill cancer patients who were put on a mechanical ventilator, given electrical defibrillation or chest compressions, or admitted, near death, to intensive care had a substantially worse quality of life in their last week than those who received no such interventions.  And, six months after their death, their caregivers were three times as likely to suffer major depression. Spending one’s final days in an I.C.U. because of terminal illness is for most people a kind of failure. You lie on a ventilator, your every organ shutting down, your mind teetering on delirium and permanently beyond realizing that you will never leave this borrowed, fluorescent place.”  Furthermore, he notes, “as for last words, they hardly seem to exist anymore. Technology sustains our organs until we are well past the point of awareness and coherence.” 

Caring professionals in hospital environments humanely deliver treatments with utmost compassion. They respond empathetically to family members who are unable to acknowledge finality and let their loved ones go.  Medical personnel are geared toward saving lives and attempting to extend them by employing all possible means, such as surgeries or potent chemotherapies (that invariably cause debilitating side effects).  At the hands of their zealous efforts, though, often the patients feel worse.  Devices, feeding tubes, dialysis catheters, tracheotomies, and the like can virtually imprison the person who is tethered to tubes and pumps, drifting in and out of consciousness.  The last days or weeks of life may be exponentially arduous for afflicted individuals, while families can become overwhelmingly distraught by the ramifications of intrusive treatments.  A waning life may be tainted by drug-induced oblivion coupled with the procedures and equipment that render a zombie-like existence, in spite of the fact that there is no hope for reversal or arrest of the disease process.  The soaring cost of care for the terminally ill is yet another consideration compounding the hardship of such situations.

Through interviews and experiences with patients, Doctor Gawande has accumulated evidence that dying individuals have needs beyond just extending the number of days they continue to exist.  Surveys of folks with terminal illnesses have identified their priorities, which include prevention of suffering, time with family members, physical touching of others, mental acuity and awareness, and avoidance of being a burden.  

Pain relief and other palliative measures can be provided in hospice or home settings, without the complexities of counterproductive paraphernalia geared toward prolonging a life destined for an imminent ending.  Comfort care rather than curative treatments may include massages and other hands-on interactions that involve touch.  Soothing music may be part of the picture.  The familiar atmosphere of one’s home in itself may contribute to alleviation of distress.  If food is still able to be eaten, choices can be customized according to appetite and tolerance.  Contacts with friends and family members are more natural and unimpeded, in a place that’s conducive to supporting one another.  Once death has occurred, there is no rush to remove the body from the premises, allowing time for continued contact and spontaneous expressions that might not be possible in an institution.  

In his popular book, Being Mortal, Doctor Gawande elucidates what matters most to people who are dying.  His own father proclaimed that he wanted to continue his social life rather than have aggressive treatments that would deprive him of being social.  Another man said he would be okay as long as he could eat chocolate ice cream and watch football.  These declarations, then, served as guidelines for their final stages of life.  Everyone was aware of the objectives and the need to avoid an institutionalized experience.  

Until recently, physicians in general had assumed a skittish posture relative to enlightening their patients about the reality of their ominous circumstances.  No one, perhaps especially these providers, wants to admit defeat.  No one wants to alert folks to the fact that they have reached a dead end on their road of life.  Everyone likely feels the excruciating pangs of destiny.  

Increasingly, however, initiatives to discuss end-of-life wishes are emerging.  Within the medical profession, practitioners are being trained and encouraged to have such discussions with terminally ill patients.  There is a drive to reject knee-jerk treatment methodology in favor of finding out from each individual what matters most to that particular person.  

The “Gawande approach” entails posing five questions as elements of routine end-of-life discussions:  1. What is your understanding of where you are and of your illness?  2. What are your fears or worries about the future?  3. What are your goals and priorities?  4. What outcomes are unacceptable to you?  What are you willing to sacrifice or not to sacrifice?  
5. Upon reaching your final phase, what would a good day look like?  

So the question seemingly boils down to whether someone would opt for a dying experience that is primarily “medicalized” or humanized.  Maybe the pendulum is swinging toward a better way to go gently into the good night.




________________________________________________________________________

Friday, June 12, 2015

NATURAL BURIAL FAIR at MOUNT AUBURN CEMETERY

JOURNEY JOURNAL... Cambridge, MA

BECOMING EARTH... "LEAVES" of GREEN


In spite of high humidity and a whisper of rain showers, spirits at the Mount Auburn Cemetery were not at all dampened.  On the contrary, folks who attended the June 14th, 2014 “Graves In the Garden” green burial fair engaged themselves enthusiastically in opportunities to learn about the natural burial concept.  

The afternoon schedule of activities enabled people to experience the verdant environment of these venerated burial grounds.  It was all about “green” in a setting that exudes it.  It was about a matter of death in a leafy arboretum rife with life.  Blanketed by an abundance of trees, shrubs, and flowers, the terrain served as an ideal theater for an affair addressing earthly sustenance.   

The concept of green burials that has been growing like wildflowers around the country had been embraced by Mount Auburn Cemetery, where that type of elemental burial is now available.  Plots for this purpose are scattered throughout the grounds and integrated among traditional sites rather than in a designated, homogeneous section.  

In one instance, an area in front of a field of headstones has been framed according to a husband and wife’s wishes, in readiness for their future deaths and natural burials.  As a reflection of their joint ownership of a Boston area retreat that features many art pieces, stones native to western Massachusetts represent their legacy of a lifetime appreciation of outdoor art.   


This special event at the cemetery was geared not only toward pre-planners like that couple whose gravesite preemptively graces the grounds, but also for anyone who was interested in becoming enlightened about the natural burial concept in general.  

At the onset, individuals strolled along a hilly road to reach the Bigelow Chapel, named for Dr. Jacob Bigelow, who had been instrumental in acquiring seventy acres as a foundation for establishment of the cemetery in 1831.  


Dr. Bigelow also was responsible for the erection of a stone statue as a memorial to victims of the Civil War.  


The lion with a human head and a pharoah's headdress sits vigilantly across from the chapel's entrance.


Spokespeople from relevant organizations and vendors manned tables with literature and posters explaining the essence of their services and missions.  Representatives included the Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Massachusetts, providers who are part of the National Home Funeral Alliance, the Eternal Blessings Cremation Service, and the My Exit Strategy Internet storage depot for end-of-life wishes. 


Depictions of family directed home funerals were displayed on a photo board.


Biodegradable caskets appropriate for natural burials were exhibited as well.  These are available through Mourning Dove Studio, a treasure trove for varied types of ecologically friendly burial containment, often embellished with meaningful appointments and artistry.  




Meanwhile, as guests milled around the premises, a “pseudo-someone”  lay motionless, undisturbed by the enlivening chatter while awaiting its “pseudo-burial” scheduled for later in the afternoon.  


Next stop on the agenda was the Story Chapel, named for the cemetery’s first president, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Joseph Story.  Constructed of sandstone in the style of a fifteenth-century English church, its Gothic interior style features a ceiling of carved wooden pieces.  


People gathered here for the showing of a popular film, A Will for the Woods, which has won acclaim for its poignant documentation of an individual’s end-of-life journey.  It follows the progression of circumstances confronted by Clark Wang, a musician and psychiatrist, as he dealt with lymphoma and prepared for his green burial.  Thoughtfully placed tissue boxes had been scattered throughout the rows of pews.  Following the film, its producers were on hand to answer questions, of which there were many.  


Next on the agenda was a demonstration, compelling transport of the “pseudo-corpse” –previously reposing in the chapel – to its grave.


For digging a little deeper into the green burial concept, a grave site had been authentically prepared to conduct a mock burial au naturel.  


After meeting at the Bigelow Chapel, staff led folks to the site for further elaboration of details, enabling insights about the differences between this type of burial and conventional approaches along with up-close visualization of the process as it is managed on the Mount Auburn property.  






The final element of this occasion was a presentation by Mark Harris, author of Grave Matters, a book extolled for its authenticity captured through his personal observations.  Having written articles about natural burials for prominent newspapers and magazines, and as a member of the Society of Environmental Journalists, he is widely regarded as an expert resource.  Against a backdrop of standard practices and through elaborations of witnessed details, readers are apprised of less familiar, yet burgeoning methods.  Benefits of natural endings readily come into focus.  

This burial alternative has taken root.  During recent years it has been capturing the attention of providers and consumers around the country.  In this age of materialism and excess, it entails less, rather than more.  It mirrors the past – the old way burials were handled before manufactured goods and funerary accoutrements came on the scene.  Yet, perhaps oddly, it is perceived as uniquely new. 

Many people still are not yet aware of this ostensibly “new” option for bodily disposition after  death.  Besides excavating a grave to illustrate it, planners for the “Graves In the Garden” affair opened minds.  Through input from various sources, people in attendance were given a realistic look at this earth-friendly manner of physical disposition.  

Mount Auburn was the first cemetery in Massachusetts to be certified by the Green Burial Council as a hybrid burial ground.  For that designation to be conferred, certain principled stipulations had to be met.  Options now include an opportunity for a body to be buried in a biodegradable casket or shroud directly in the ground, without outer containment in the form of a vault or concrete liner.  Instead of protuberant memorial stones, such graves may be marked by inconspicuous markers inlayed within nature’s ground cover.  Alternatively, a small plaque affixed to a nearby shrub or tree, or the absence of any type of discernible marker, can serve as a sign that an individual’s body has been conscientiously poised to merge with the natural environment.  

Here, within this embellished retreat for souls laid to rest, the beauty of nature’s complexion prevails.  The possibility of becoming absorbed in its terrestrial vigor in spite of death can be especially alluring.  A green burial within this thriving landscape offers an opportunity to literally embed oneself in a sanctuary of ecological splendor.  




Mount Auburn Cemetery

Funeral Consumers Alliance of Western Massachusetts

National Home Funeral Alliance

A Will for the Woods film
Grave Matters by Mark Harris

Mourning Dove Studio

My Exit Strategy

Eternal Blessings Family-Direct Cremation Service

______________________________________________________________________